May 26, 2016

Preg-o vs The Crabinator


Sent this in an email to Alex the other day:
Today on the adventures of Preg-o vs The Crabinator, Preg-o dragged Crabinator from the car as he fought every step of the way to get back to his car seat and strap himself in. Preg-o gave Crabinator a 1-2-3 knockdown but Crabinator retaliated by collapsing bodily on the sidewalk. Preg-o, not to be defeated, carried Crabinator bodily into the house, where he had an immediate turn in the penalty box. Crabinator then refused to eat, and Preg-o got some medicine in him. Preg-o won the battle over the "oval" and sat on her winnings like a bloated hemorrhoidal queen. Crabinator finished the final round by pooping himself and making Preg-o change it, but the judges confirm that Preg-o wins the match the moment Crabinator gives in and goes to sleep in his crib.
We'll keep the audience updated on who wins the afternoon.
It was me.  I won.

May 22, 2016

Nuffins


Alex: Tanner has a T on his shirt.  It's like he's a superhero and his power is trying to talk sense into you.

April 20, 2016

It Was a Dark and Stormy Morning


Our friend Julie posted this on Facebook at 9:50AM on a Thursday:
I'm pretty sure I'm in a horror movie right now.
It's dark and raining outside. I'm sitting on the floor with Spencer in my lap while Audrey looks around the room through a translucent green noise-making toy. She looks suddenly afraid and starts babbling something about "the creepers." I ask her to slow down and tell me what's wrong.
"The creepers," she says, frightened. "The creepers are here."
"Creepers?" I ask, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"The creepers are here. They're right behind you, Mama. THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU."I instinctively turn around but nothing is there.W...T...F...?

Beth says: I LOVE CREEPY STORIES LIKE THIS.