[Beth Comics] Conditional

 

This is all 1,000% accurate and from the deepest and most horrified depths of my soul. It has churned there since 2016, around 10 years as of this posting.

I cannot express the depths of anger and betrayal. I'll forgive a vote, though it can be hard, and I'll still love the kind and forgiving people who've always been kind and forgiving, even when I think they're barking up a very rotten tree, but those who used to (and probably still do) terrorize anyone who doesn't live up to their ideals? They can burn in hell.

Panel 1

Conditional Love is when you have to "earn" affection by pleasing the other person, and you lose affection when you don't.

Person 1: I'll love you if you're perfect.

Person 2: That's messed up.

Panel 2

This is extra bad for kids because kids learn that they aren't loveable for who they are but rather what they do.

Blue Adult: Behave and I'll love you.

Little Beth: Ok.

Pink Adult: Noooooo! You deserve unconditional love! Love is not a transaction!

Panel 3

I grew up around church people who did this. Me and my brother successfully earned their love by meeting impossible standards. If we had failed, we would have been treated like trash.

Blue Adult: Look how I treat others who disappoint me. That could be you.

Little Jon: Ok I'll be good.

Pink Adult: NO! THAT'S LITERALLY A THREAT!

Panel 4

These were unsafe adults. Not physically -- emotionally.

Little Beth played their game. So did Little Jon.

Blue Adults [patting our heads]: What a good child!

We were perfect for them. We did it. Succeeded. Avoided their scorn. I used to be proud of this. Like it was an achievement.

Panel 5

After I grew up, those unsafe adults gave unconditional love and forgiveness to a politician who didn't meet the IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS I contorted my life to fulfill.

Beth: What was it all even for?

Jon: Nothing. It was for nothing.

Panel 6

[largest purple text] They forgive him. They admire him. They celebrate him. They defend him.

[small indigo list between the big bold purple and pink text] Arrogant. Dishonest. Volatile. Vengeful. Adulterer. Materialistic. Promiscuous. Gluttonous. Greedy. Selfish. Cruel. Aggressive. Egotistical. Thin-Skinned.

[large pink text] I never want to see them again. I never want to hear from them. I regret wanting their love. I think I hate them.

[crowded purple text, some big and bright, others smaller and faded] Why is he safe with them but we weren't? (I'm not okay.) I was perfect for them. (Why?) This hurts. (I'm so angry.) How could they? (It hurts.) We were good. (Pain.) (Make it stop hurting.) (How could you?!) (Hypocrites.) You only loved those who behaved. (Hypocrites.) I was everything they wanted me to be, and he's none of it. (I loved you.) Why? (Betrayal.) You ruined lives for so much less. (Liars.) (Monsters.) Why is he held to a different standard? (Lies.) (Traitors.) (I'm so sad.) It hurts so much. (Betrayal.) I feel sick. (It's not okay.) We worked for their love and he just... gets it? (I'm so angry.) Why wasn't I worth loving like this? (Pain.) (Liars.) I was good. (Monsters.) I hurt. (It's not okay.) (Heartbreak.) Our efforts were for nothing. This is personal. (How could you?!) (I'm so angry.) I'm not okay. (We were good.) (Why?) We were kids. (Liars.) We did everything right. (I'm not okay.)

Jon: Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Same.

Panel 7

[boldest] Even grown and far away, my inner child whispered "Please them." Now, the whispers are SILENT, and my life, perhaps for the first time, is what I alone choose.

[light yellow text] I'm out. Never again. CU never. So done.

[cursive] The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.

[letter style] Dear Jerkwads, I met your impossible moral standards and assumed you had the same ones for everyone. But now you're calling Trump a great guy? We. Are. OVER. Don't ever talk to me again. I will be throwing your expectations for me IN THE TRASH where they BELONG! Sincerely not yours anymore, Beth